50 Letters to Heaven
by EmoShadowAngel
Summary: 50 letters about life, hurt, and love. From Satou to Matsuda. "How is it up there? I know you can't read this physically, but surely you can see me writing this right now" Rated T just in case. Mentions of Satou/Takagi, but this is mostly Satou/Matsuda friendship. Image goes to docorooho from DeviantArt
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi there! I remembered writing a story for this fandom, but I accidentally erased it and I didn't save it somewhere else, so yeah. To those who actually enjoyed it, just PM me or something if you want me to rewrite it again, if I actually remember what I wrote ^^;;**

**Disclaimer: Just in case, I own nothing. Except for the laptop I'm using. This story was inspired from "Talking with the Dead" by hiro7.**

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Dear Matsuda-kun,

The 'dear' part was just out of formality since this is a letter after all. Go ahead and laugh all you want up there, but I just miss you. Really, I mean, you were actually the first man I ever fell in love with, apart from my otou-san, though.

How is it up there? I know you can't read this physically, but surely you can see me writing this right now. Oh yeah, tell my otou-san I said hi, and also tell him that me and okaa-san miss him real much. I still kept the handcuffs.

Speaking of handcuffs, I remembered you told me that a person would only be dead if I forget them. You were playing with the handcuffs, remember? When you told me this? Never mind.

I don't know why I'm writing this letter anyways to begin with, Yumi said something about how the letters will bring something good for the person. I don't see the point, since you're already not here.

I'm sorry if I haven't visited your grave, I'll just bring back memories of you, and then I'll end up crying again. Yeah yeah, go ahead and laugh, but I'm lady, so I can cry all I want. Okay, maybe that doesn't sound good, but still.

Since I know you're watching from up there, do you notice anything different? Like the cases were getting, or the usual office routines, or maybe even my love life?

Yeah, you read this right, I'm in a relationship.

His name is Takagi Wataru.

He was just new after your, you know, and I really didn't bother with him when he was introduced. Remember, still traumatized from you-know-what.

But he caught up eventually, and it was good that he knows what he's doing. But sometimes, that guy can be a real klutz. I even wonder until now how he actually made it to Division 1, but you know, just out of curiousity.

He's exactly like you, and even that time with the bomber case, he told me some familiar words that you know what I'm talking about.

"You must not forget if that's an important memory to you, especially since when a person dies, he can only live in the memories of others" Even until now, I still remember that phrase. He can be a man of words in his own ways when he wants to be.

I wonder what he's doing right now? I'm off duty today, and I still haven't told okaa-san about my relationship with Takagi-kun. And knowing her, she's trying to make me read all those guys' profiles again. I'm sorry, but I already have one, but I just couldn't say it. Not yet anyways. . .

But instead of watching sappy television dramas and make fun of them, I might as well write this, and it was actually worth it you know? I feel like I'm talking to you right now, here with me, making fun of sappy television dramas. . .

I really miss you, Matsuda-kun. . . .

You know, that p.s. on your last message still haunts me until now, and I have all these what ifs in my head, like what if you were alive? Or what if we got together, get married, have a family. . .

It's not that I'm not happy with Takagi-kun, really I am. In fact, he became someone I would want to be with for the rest of my life. He's sweet, kind, caring, dutiful to his job, and whenever I see him with the Detective Boys, I feel like I'm seeing him with our children. I know, I'm thinking too much.

I'm going to stop my letter here for now, my hand hurts from all that writing. But don't worry, I'll write again, when I have the time of course. Maybe I should do one during work, but I must be setting an example and as representing the Metropolitan Police Department, I mustn't slack off.

Bye bye for now, Matsuda-kun, take care up there!

Yours truly,

Satou Miwako

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**A/N: What do you think? I'm not good with romance to begin with, but then again, this is more like writing letters about what's going on and all. Satou can be OOC so please forgive me if she is. Like I said, it's hard to write these kinds of fics. I can only write when I'm inspired to do so. **

**Should I continue though?**

**Of course! Because there's 49 more letters to go! XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi there again! Thanks to all of you guys who reviewed! Really appreciated it lots ^^ To adikakosaanime, don't worry, I'll write a Satou/Takagi one in the near future, I'm thinking of putting up one when the letters get near to the end XD No, don't worry though, I'll write one soon ;)**

**(Note not pertaining to the story: adikakosaanime, your name sounds like in a filipino language, like adik ako sa anime- I'm obsessed with anime)**

**SPOILERS: If you haven't read files 804-808, or watched episodes 681-683, then it's best if you read/watch those first. You may not understand what is going on. .. . . . **

**Without further ado, enjoy ^^**

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Dear Matsuda-kun,

I almost lost him.

Again.

I don't know why this is always happening to him; whether I should be happy that he is still alive rather than dead and blown up to pieces.

You noticed I haven't written a letter yet, right? Of course I'm busy with the investigations and cases, but this one particular case was something I couldn't just leave it aside.

Takagi-kun was abducted.

Yeah, you remembered that I called him a klutz, right? He really should be careful more often, really. But I really couldn't blame the guy, but not because he's my boyfriend. It's about Date-san.

I don't know if you met him yet, but he's with you right now, up there I meant.

I felt bad for him when he thought it was his fault that his girlfriend, Natalie-san, committed suicide, since her picture was inside the notebook and he didn't even notice. And he only figured out now, a year after the incident. Knowing the sweet guy he is, he tried to find her surviving family, but it seems that the only one she has connections with is her fellow English teacher in a conventional school in Hokkaido.

But that old man made a very huge, and I mean very HUGE mistake when he abducted Takagi-kun. What did he do really to deserve such fate? That bastard left him tied up high up in a slim plank, a noose around his neck, a bomb under the plank, and out in the freezing cold for more than 3 DAYS, 3 DAYS I tell you!

I always thought that it was my fault that he gets into these situations, even though I don't know how it's my fault.

But I do know for one that it was my fault when I called him on his cellphone during that Whistling Man case, and I didn't know that he was already in danger. He took a bullet to the heart, and I was already breaking down, but that idiot knows how to scare you to death. He had a mahjong tile in his shirt pocket where his heart was supposed to be! Other than that though, the reason for him not answering my call was because he _broke _his phone to nullify the risk of me being taken as a hostage.

He is a sweet idiot indeed.

That's not the only one, there was also that time with my dad's old case, and that Tokyo bombing case, and-

Okay, maybe I'll just stop there. I'm already guilty as charged.

I was scared to love another man, you see, after your death, and it was hard to always turn down the men's invitations to dinner, movies, amusement park, even sitting with you during lunch break.

But for some reason, he just comes back to me, no matter what.

And sometimes, I just have to thank God for that miracle.

Can you guess where I'm at, Matsuda-kun? I know you can see me from up there. I'm in Takagi-kun's hospital room right now, writing this.

The poor guy has frostbite and needs to stay in the hospital for at least a couple of days, but he's going to be off-duty for at least a month, or until he feels better. Not only that, he also suffered from a high fever, starvation, dehydration, and even bladder problems since he held it all in for the past 3 days, unlike me who couldn't even hold it for a night. Yeah, go ahead and laugh.

He's sleeping soundly right now, but the marks around his neck still bothers me.

But at least it's proof that he's still alive and okay, here with me now. Did you know I kissed him? I think this is my second time, the first time being in his hospital room. It's not what I would prefer for a first kiss, but the poor guy was saying how we were so close in doing it. Well, like they say, third time's a charm.

But then again, I haven't seen him in 3 days, so I guess kissing him like there's no tomorrow after jumping off a helicopter to rescue your boyfriend within 10 seconds before the bomb blows off is acceptable in my book.

Though having to go through all that gossip about our kiss the next day at work was not as pleasant. I'm just glad Takagi-kun is in the hospital right now. Who knows what the men could've done to him?! Yeah, I knew about it, just don't tell Takagi-kun though, I'm just saving myself from being interrogated any further. Thank Yumi for all of that.

Don't worry, I'll visit your grave soon, like I promised. Takagi-kun would want to visit Date-san's grave, too, after he's ready. If you see Date-san up there, can you tell him that Takagi-kun really misses him greatly? I'm pretty sure Takagi-kun would appreciate it.

I'm going to finish this letter here for now, I need to take care of Takagi-kun here anyways. Megure-keibu gave me permission to stay with him.

Until then, bye bye, I miss you!

Yours truly,

Satou Miwako

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**A/N: There was some instances where I made up some, like the fact that Satou knew of the broken cellphone, or Takagi in the hospital and the sufferings he faced, but then again, this is FANfiction XD What do you guys think? I'm actually thinking that Takagi would write a letter for permission to propose to Satou :3 Oops, spoiler alerts! **

**But anyways, the letters will keep on coming. There will be an instance in the future where some letters will be derived from another fanfiction I'm going to write.**

**I just love Satou/Takagi! Their love is just too much feels to let it go! I might even take a shot of figuring out the proposal strategy if Takagi doesn't propose until then. Oops, spoilers~!**

**Until next time! ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Long time no update, I supposed! Thanks for everyone who reviewed, I greatly appreciated it! I was supposed to update like weeks ago, but then you know, I got addicted to downloading things in my hard drive (planning on downloading ALL of the DC episodes), watching City Hunter that my friend told me to watch (I never knew that 1 Korean episode lasts an hour!), getting ready for my trip back to Philippines (for medication purposes, but not me though), and finally getting my report card (apparently, my 4th Quarter average compared to my 3rd Quarter decreased by 0.3, so I pretty much worried too much on it. My average for 4th Quarter is 99.2 ^^;; I know, but I aim high, so yeah. . . .) **

**Did I already put a disclaimer in this story? I'm too lazy to look back ^^;; But if I didn't,**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THEM!**

**. . . . . . . if I do, I would make Satou and Takagi get married already. Oh Gosho-sama, Why are you doing this to me?!**

**Enjoy ^^**

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Dear Matsuda-kun,

It's been a while, hasn't it? Gomen ne*, the crime doesn't sleep as they say right? Anyways, I went to your grave as I promised, but after I went with Takagi-kun to visit Date-san's grave. It's been a month since that case, but I'm glad Takagi-kun is up and about. When we were standing in front of the grave, Takagi-kun told me that Date-san's last words to him probably indicated to give the ring in the notebook to his girlfriend, and you know the rest. But you know, those words "I'm leaving this to your care" can also mean the notebook, and it was ambiguous, so he really didn't specify it as "I'm leaving the notebook/ring to your care".

Speaking of rings, Takagi-kun gave me a ring a while back, you know, after that case that involves a ring. I replaced the ring that Yumi gave me. His ring is simple, yet it holds so much beauty in it. I'm pretty sure you saw it up there, right? I'm not THAT oblivious, you know? Everyone was talking about my ring, but they only thought of it as a charm.

Between you and me, I'll tell you this: I'M. NOT. CLUELESS.

To tell you the truth, I'm just putting up an act. I didn't want Takagi-kun to get into more trouble with the men, and you know them. I already have an idea to what the ring means, so all I have to do is wait for him to tell me. And I can wait, he just needs enough courage. It's not easy to do it.

Not like I know anything about it.

Back to the topic of this letter, I noticed in your grave that someone left flowers. They're blue and small, and they have these little white stem-like things in the middle. But they're really pretty. Simple yet elegant.

So you never told me anything about having a girlfriend, huh? Or maybe it was just one of your family members.

I just came from work, and it was pretty ordinary. Normal office routines, Yumi's gossip, murder cases that were caused by the Mouris and Conan-kun, yeah everything is fine. Takagi-kun had to run a lot of errands the whole day, not to mention that he has a lot of paperwork to catch up on, so I barely saw him the whole day. But you don't come to work just for the coffee and donuts after all.

You know, Matsuda-kun, I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn't for you, I would've never learned how to love. Because you know, love can make you feel happy and joyous, but also sad and depressed. At least, if you were given a second chance at love, you would know how to handle it better, more or less. I'm not saying that I'm glad that you died, remember how that event traumatized me. You were only with us, with me, for only a week. I was in deep thought of how I got so attracted to you, and don't get it the wrong way, you said you like me too. How would someone ever fall in love with a reckless, rude, and laid back kind of guy? Not to mention he should take his job seriously? But as they say, looks can be deceiving.

If only I treasured every moment with you from the moment I had feelings for you, then maybe Fate might've change its mind.

But we couldn't change that now, can we?

Now don't laugh up there, you know how much emotion I had when writing these letters to you.

I'll just finish right here for the meantime while I'll try watch this Korean drama that Yumi recommended me to watch. It's called "City Hunter". I don't know what she likes in this show, mainly because this is about revenge and doing justice under the law. It's not right, but since it's my day off tomorrow, might as well. If you're watching me right now, might as well watch it with me.

Yours truly,

Satou Miwako

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Satou Miwako looked at the letter one last time before folding it and sealing it in an envelope. She puts in in a box, containing the first two letters that are both addressed to Matsuda. She smiles sadly, suddenly remembers how Matsuda would write e-mails to his late friend Hagiwara. But instead of e-mails, might as well write it in letter forms, right? She was planning on saving all of her letters first before bringing it back to Matsuda's grave, but she preferred to just keep it with her, just to be safe.

Putting back where she had kept the box, Satou looked around her room before standing up from her seat to look out of the window. _There sure are a lot of stars tonight _she thought, with a sad smile on her face. Looking back once more, she says her silent prayers before going back to her laptop to look for that Korean drama Yumi oh so forced her to watch.

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**A/N: I don't know about you guys, but don't you think I made Satou a bit too out of character here? Anyways, to overtlycovert, there was actually such person who had done that? Oh well, something to inspire b(^_^)d **

**Well see yah guys in the relative future ^^**


End file.
